In defense of my inactivity

I realize I’ve started this with quite some enthusiasm and then I abruptly abandoned the idea of posting here. The truth is that the last year was a busy year for me both in positive and negative terms and I couldn’t muster my strengths to focus on some week-end projects or even stuff I’m interested in.

My interests have somewhat shifted during the last year and I’m not very convinced about my passions anymore. The problem is that I’m trying to grow on too many levels at the same time and, well, you know the old saying: jack of all trades, master of none. (but better than master of one! heheh, that’s what I believe). Anyway, I’ve identified this as a major obstacle in my path towards progress. And, as anyone who tried will find out, it’s awfully complicated to change one’s behavioral patterns.

For now, I just want to find the courage of keeping a damn journal. You wouldn’t believe for how long I’ve been trying to do this( years!), and the most I could do was scribble some words 2-3 months apart. I guess I’m simply afraid of what I could write down.

Or the fact that I should plan some goals… that is quite a mountain to climb for me. No, it’s not complicated to do that but… it’s a much more fundamental problem. In my early adolescence, I was living in this magical land where time wasn’t a problem for me, it was passing yes, but at the basic level my mind had the assumption of infinite time. During college I’ve started realizing that time is as much a resource as money, and an inner conflict arose. I was never keen on “becoming someone”, the belief of keeping all the gates of possibilities open was deeply rooted in me since I was genuinely curious in many domains. And now I have to challenge that, because no matter if I do or don’t do something, time is going to pass. And I better do something than be a lazy ass!

But I think I’ve found a hack. Though, again, changing one’s thought patterns is quite a feat to do, so it’s gonna take some… time. I thought about keeping really focused on goals for periods of time, but then allowing myself 2-3 days, or in larger intervals, a week or so, of completely unfocused days. It’s kinda like the pomodoro technique, but applied on a bigger scale.

Then there are lots of daily habits I’m hoping to implement, like going to bed earlier, meditating, physical exercise( though doing some easy exercises like squats and general fitness movements has somewhat become a daily habit, but I only do at most 10 minutes of those so maybe I should improve on that), keeping a positive outlook on life and learning to listen more. Not anything out of the ordinary, just stuff that is known to improve one’s quality of life. Unfortunately, I don’t know what’s keeping us from doing just that. We sometimes loose our train of thought in the petty aspects of life.

I will unfasten the real and imaginary shackles that are holding me from exploring the stuff that I love. I’m not making this a 2017 resolution, I know I have to take baby steps.

And by posting this, I guess I’m expanding a bit more the type of articles I’ll be posting here. They won’t be just technical. I’m also always open for suggestions, discussions and general knowledge sharing ^_^.